What is backbiting (gheebah), and how do I repent from it?

What the Prophet ﷺ defined it as

The definition is not the scholars' invention; it comes from the Prophet ﷺ himself, which is why the books of fiqh open the topic with his words rather than a technical formula. When he asked his Companions whether they knew what backbiting was, and they deferred to him, he answered:

"Your mentioning your brother in a way he dislikes."— Sahih Muslim 2589, from Abu Hurayrah

They then pressed him on the case that troubles most people — what if the fault is really there? He answered that if the fault is present you have backbitten him, and if it is not present you have slandered him (buhtan). Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen draws out the point that the two are not mutually exclusive: slander here is backbiting plus a lie, so the one who invents a fault carries both wrongs at once.

The scope is wider than insults about someone's character. Ibn Uthaymeen lists the categories the definition covers: a fault in his body (mocking a disability or a short stature), in his character (calling him foolish or ill-tempered), or in his actions (naming him a sinner or a wrongdoer). All of it is backbiting when it is said behind his back. Said to his face, the same words are insult and abuse rather than backbiting — a distinction of name, not of permission.

Why it is treated so seriously

The Qur'an does not describe backbiting as a lapse in manners. It sets it beside the image of eating your brother's flesh while he is dead:

"And do not backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it."— Qur'an 49:12

Ibn Uthaymeen explains why the dead body is the fitting image: the one spoken about is absent and cannot defend himself, exactly as the dead cannot. Shaykh Ibn Baz adds that the Prophet ﷺ was shown, on the night of the Isra', people with copper nails clawing at their own faces and chests, and was told these are those who eat people's flesh and attack their honour. Ibn Baz also notes that backbiting is forbidden by the consensus of the Muslims and is one of the major sins — whether the fault mentioned is actually present or not.

The conditions of repentance

Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen sets out the conditions in order, and the first three are the ones the scholars generally agree on: regret in the heart, ceasing the sin, and resolve never to return to it. He notes that most scholars hold regret to be essential, and that a person who truly stops has necessarily regretted — otherwise he would have continued. To these he adds two further conditions: that the repentance happen within the time it is accepted (not at the point of death, nor after the sun rises from the west), and — the one that concerns your question — that the rights of others be restored.

That last condition is where backbiting differs from a sin between you and Allah alone. Shaykh Ibn Baz relates the warning the Prophet ﷺ gave about settling such rights before it is too late:

"Whoever has wronged his brother in his honour or in anything else, let him seek his pardon today, before there is neither dinar nor dirham. If he has a good deed, it will be taken from him to the extent of his wrong; and if he has no good deeds, the sins of his companion will be taken and loaded upon him."— Sahih al-Bukhari 2449

Al-Shanqiti, commenting on this in his explanation of Zad al-Mustaqni', is blunt about the stakes: repentance between you and Allah does not by itself drop the right of the person you backbit. If he does not forgive you willingly, you will meet Allah with that wrong, and your good deeds will be taken in proportion to it — until, if they run out, his sins are loaded onto you.

When you cannot reach the person

This is the practical heart of the question, and the scholars give clear guidance for the cases where going to the person is impossible or harmful.

• If he is alive and reachable: ask his pardon and seek his forgiveness. IslamWeb (fatwa 410968) states this as the obligation, and Ibn Uthaymeen reports it as the position of some scholars.
• If he has died, or you cannot reach him, or telling him would cause greater harm: IslamWeb (fatwa 410968) says the better course is to keep the matter covered, repent, seek forgiveness for him abundantly, supplicate for him, and praise him with good in front of people — alongside increasing in good deeds.
• If he never knew you had spoken about him: Ibn Uthaymeen considers the preferred view to be that you should not go and tell him. Informing him may provoke him to refuse forgiveness and plant enmity between you, making you the cause of the very harm you are trying to undo. Instead you seek forgiveness for him and praise him in the gatherings where you had backbitten him. The exception is where you fear he will come to learn of it — then you must seek his pardon.
• Charity on his behalf: IslamWeb (fatwa 45740) permits giving ongoing charity on behalf of the person backbitten, since charity may be given by proxy.

The two things that drive it

Al-Shanqiti identifies two motives that, when they combine in a person, lead him to violate the limits of Allah regarding His servants.

Contempt — looking down on the one you speak about. The cure is to hold firmly to the sanctity of every Muslim regardless of his wealth, lineage or position; he notes that the God-fearing person fears backbiting the poor man more than the rich one, and the weak more than the strong.

The habit of criticism — a person who sits in every gathering appraising others, and who trains even children to be bold in finding fault. He warns that whoever criticises people will himself be criticised by them, and quotes the saying: whoever drags people's faults to you, will have your faults dragged to people. The remedy he gives is the saying — narrated as a hadith, though its chain is weak — "Blessed is the one whose own fault occupies him away from the faults of others."

What to do now

1. Stop and regret — genuinely, and resolve not to return to it.
2. Identify who you wronged, and whether they know.
3. If they know: go and ask their pardon.
4. If they do not know: do not inform them; instead seek forgiveness for them, praise them in the gatherings where you had spoken against them, and give charity on their behalf if you wish.
5. Fill the gap — increase in good deeds, since the Prophet ﷺ warned that good deeds are what get taken when rights are unsettled.

Key takeaways

• Backbiting is mentioning a Muslim in a way he dislikes — in his body, character or actions — and it is a major sin by the consensus of the Muslims.
• If the fault is real it is backbiting; if it is invented it is slander, and the slanderer carries both wrongs.
• Repentance requires regret, ceasing, resolve, and restoring the rights of the one wronged.
• Where asking pardon is impossible or would cause greater harm, seek forgiveness for him, praise him where you had criticised him, and increase in good deeds.
• If the person never learned of it, the preferred view is not to tell him — that would only open a door of enmity.

Further reading

• Ibn Uthaymeen, al-Sharh al-Mumti' — his discussion of the conditions of repentance
• Al-Shanqiti, Sharh Zad al-Mustaqni'
• Shaykh Ibn Baz, Majmu' al-Fatawa wa al-Maqalat

And Allah knows best.