How does Islam teach us to control anger?

What the command actually means

The Prophet ﷺ did not forbid the feeling of anger, because that is something created in a person and cannot simply be switched off. What he forbade is acting on it.

"Do not get angry."— Sahih al-Bukhari, from Abu Hurayrah

Al-Khattabi, quoted by Ibn Hajar in his commentary on al-Bukhari, explains the meaning as: avoid the causes of anger and do not expose yourself to what provokes it — for anger itself is a natural disposition that does not leave a person's makeup. Ibn Hibban adds that the Prophet ﷺ intended: do not do, once angry, anything I have forbidden — not that he forbade something a person is created with and has no way to repel.

Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymin makes the same point: the command is to try to reduce your anger and remain calm, and if you do become angry, then do not carry out what the anger demands.

Two kinds of treatment

The scholars divide the treatment of anger into two: a preventive cure before it occurs, and a remedial cure after it has occurred. Both are drawn from the Prophet's ﷺ guidance.

Before it occurs

• Avoid the causes. Stay away from arguments, disputation, quarrelling, joking that gets out of hand, mockery, and the company of foolish people.
• Train the self. Patience is acquired by practising patience, and forbearance by practising forbearance. The Prophet ﷺ told al-Ashajj of 'Abd al-Qays that he had two qualities Allah loves: forbearance and deliberateness.
• Choose good environments. IslamWeb (fatwa 65353) advises keeping to good settings — the mosques, gatherings of knowledge, and the company of students of knowledge and people of good — and keeping away from bad gatherings and bad companions.
• Remember the reward. Allah praises those who restrain anger and pardon people, and the Prophet ﷺ said that no gulp brings greater reward with Allah than a gulp of anger a servant swallows seeking Allah's face (Sunan Ibn Majah 4189).

After it occurs

1. Seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan. This is the first and most direct remedy, because Shaytan is the source of the anger. When two men insulted each other before the Prophet ﷺ and one of them turned red in the face, he said: "I know a word which, if he said it, would remove what he feels: I seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan, the accursed."
2. Change your posture. If you are standing, sit; if sitting, lie down. The Prophet ﷺ said: "If one of you becomes angry while standing, let him sit; if the anger leaves him, fine — otherwise let him lie down."
3. Be silent. The Prophet ﷺ said three times: "If one of you becomes angry, let him be silent." 'Abd Allah al-Fawzan explains that speech in anger turns into shouting, arguing and insults, and nothing cuts that off except silence.
4. Perform wudu. Anger raises heat in the body and water cools it. A narration in Sunan Abi Dawud (4784) says: "Anger is from Shaytan, and Shaytan was created from fire, so if one of you becomes angry, let him perform wudu" — its chain is weak, but the scholars recommend the practice for its effect.
5. Remember Allah's anger. Al-Fawzan notes that the one who is angry should remember Allah's anger and seek refuge with Him.

What you are accountable for

Anger itself is not something you are blamed for, but what you say and do while angry is. IslamWeb (fatwa 28028) explains that if you say something sinful while angry and your anger has not reached the point of losing awareness, you are accountable and must repent — and if it recurs, renew your repentance. If anger reaches the point where you do not know what you are saying, there is no blame — but this is rare, and you must still avoid what provokes your anger and train yourself in forbearance.

The Prophet ﷺ warned specifically against acting on anger because it opens the door to unlawful retaliation — killing, destroying property, insulting, cursing and abusing. The strong person is not the one who overpowers others:

"The strong man is not the one who overpowers others; the strong man is the one who controls himself when angry."— Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, from Abu Hurayrah

Anger between spouses

IslamWeb (fatwa 93919) gives practical guidance for anger within marriage. Neither spouse should raise their voice or shout at the other, because that leads to discord. When one is angry, the other should remain silent and not respond in kind — the anger usually subsides quickly, and then the matter can be discussed calmly. The better of the two is the one who controls his words and weighs his actions, and who absorbs the other's anger with a kind word and a good deed, even if he is the wronged party.

Key takeaways

• Anger is not the sin — acting on it is. The command "do not get angry" means remove its causes and restrain yourself when it comes.
• Prevention comes first. Avoiding arguments, bad company and provoking situations is the primary treatment.
• The scholars draw five immediate remedies from the texts: seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan, change your posture, be silent, perform wudu, and remember Allah's anger.
• You are accountable for what you say and do while angry, unless anger reaches the point of losing awareness — and that is rare.
• The strong person is the one who controls himself when angry, not the one who overpowers others.

Further reading

• Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari, commentary on the hadith of "do not get angry"
• 'Abd Allah al-Fawzan, al-Jami', chapter on restraining anger
• Hamzah Qasim, Manar al-Qari, commentary on Sahih al-Bukhari, chapter on warning against anger

And Allah knows best.