What are the rights of a husband and a wife in Islam?

The three categories

Al-Shinqiti's Fiqh al-Usrah organises the whole subject this way, and it is the clearest frame for the question:

• The husband's rights over his wife: guardianship (qiwamah), obedience in what is lawful, not leaving the home without his permission, not admitting anyone he dislikes, responding when he calls her to bed, and not fasting a voluntary fast while he is present without his permission.
• The wife's rights over her husband: the dowry (mahr), maintenance (nafaqah) and clothing, and the right to a share of his nights.
• Shared rights: the two greatest are al-'ishrah bi'l-ma'ruf (companionship in kindness) and the right of spending the night and dividing time fairly between wives.

Shaykh Abd al-Muhsin al-Abbad summarises the foundation: Allah magnified the right of the husband over his wife just as He magnified the right of the wife over her husband, and He obligated the husband to provide her maintenance and clothing. Each spouse must guard the other's right as Allah commanded.

The shared rights come first

The Qur'an grounds the whole structure in reciprocity. IslamWeb (fatwa 20999) cites:

"And due to them is similar to what is upon them, in a reasonable manner. But men have a degree over them."— Qur'an 2:228

And:

"And live with them in kindness."— Qur'an 4:19

Ibn al-'Arabi, quoted in IslamWeb (fatwa 110866), reads 2:228 as a clear text that the husband is favoured over the wife and given precedence in the rights of marriage — while al-Jassas notes the verse establishes that each spouse has a right over the other, and that the husband has one peculiar to him alone.

The wife's rights over her husband

The scholars list these as obligations the husband owes, not favours:

• The dowry: it accompanies the contract itself. Al-Shinqiti places the mahr among the rights that attach to the marriage contract from the moment it is concluded.
• Maintenance and clothing: al-Shinqiti and al-Abbad both name nafaqah and kiswah as the husband's duty. IslamWeb (fatwa 20999) adds good treatment (ihsan) to the list.
• A share of his nights: al-Shinqiti explains that because Allah permitted a man four wives, the share of each free woman is one night in four. He cites the practice of the Companions: when a woman complained to Umar ibn al-Khattab رضي الله عنه, Ka'b ibn Sur told the man, "She has a right over you — that you be with her once in every four." Umar enforced one night in four.
• Intimacy within his capacity: al-Shinqiti states that a man who is able must have relations with his wife at least once every third of a year — the limit Umar set for soldiers away from their wives, based on Hafsah's رضي الله عنها answer that a woman can bear three months, and the fourth only with distress. A man who is physically unable is not held to this, because "Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity" (Qur'an 2:286).
• Fairness between co-wives: al-Shinqiti notes it is forbidden for a husband to house two wives in one dwelling without their consent, and that he may not travel with one of them without drawing lots.

The husband's rights over his wife

Al-Tuwayjri's Mukhtasar al-Fiqh al-Islami and al-Shinqiti both set these out:

• Service and care of the home: al-Tuwayjri writes that the wife should serve her husband, maintain his house, manage it, raise his children and advise him. Ibn Taymiyyah, quoted in IslamWeb (fatwa 110866), qualifies this: "Her service of her husband in kindness is due from one like her to one like him, and it varies with circumstances — the service of a bedouin woman is not like that of a village woman, and that of a strong woman is not like that of a weak one."
• Obedience in what is not sin: she obeys him in what does not disobey Allah, avoids what angers him, does not leave his home without permission, does not disclose his secrets, does not dispose of his wealth without his consent, and does not admit into his home anyone he dislikes.
• Guarding herself and his property: al-Tuwayjri lists preserving his honour, his wealth and his home.
• Adornment for him: IslamWeb (fatwa 110866) notes that when the husband asks her to adorn herself, it becomes obligatory, because he has a right to her obedience in what is not sin — especially in an age of widespread temptation.
• Responding to his call: the Prophet ﷺ said:

"If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning."— Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, from Abu Hurayrah

IslamWeb adds that refusing without a valid excuse — such as menstruation, an obligatory fast, or ihram — is a major sin.

What is forbidden to both

Al-Tuwayjri lists prohibitions that bind the husband too:

• Intercourse during menstruation is forbidden until she becomes pure and performs ghusl. Al-Shinqiti notes this is by consensus, and that everything short of intercourse is permitted, based on the Prophet's ﷺ words: "Do all things except marriage."
• Anal intercourse is forbidden — al-Shinqiti states this too is by consensus, and that the place of intercourse is the place of tilth (Qur'an 2:223).
• Withholding what is owed: al-Tuwayjri writes that it is forbidden for either spouse to delay what the other is owed, to resent giving it, or to remind the other of favours with reproach.

Before consummation

IslamWeb (fatwa 20999) draws a distinction that matters practically: a woman contracted in marriage is a legal wife with all rights and duties, except that maintenance and clothing are not due until she enables her husband to consummate. Until then she may also refuse to travel with him or admit him until he pays the dowry.

Key takeaways

• Marriage rights fall into three sets: the husband's rights, the wife's rights, and the shared rights of kind companionship and fair division of time.
• The husband owes the dowry, maintenance, clothing, good treatment, and intimacy within his ability; the wife owes obedience in what is lawful, care of the home, and guarding his trust.
• The Qur'anic standard is reciprocity: "due to them is similar to what is upon them, in a reasonable manner" (2:228), with the husband given a degree of precedence.
• Maintenance and clothing become due once the marriage is consummated; before that, the wife may withhold herself until the dowry is paid.
• Intercourse during menstruation and in the anus is forbidden by consensus, and neither spouse may withhold what the other is owed.

Further reading

• Muhammad al-Mukhtar al-Shinqiti, Fiqh al-Usrah
• Muhammad ibn Ibrahim al-Tuwayjri, Mukhtasar al-Fiqh al-Islami
• Ibn Qudamah, al-Mughni

And Allah knows best.