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The default between spouses is permission: each may enjoy the other's body however they wish, and only what the Shari'ah has explicitly prohibited is forbidden. The prohibitions the scholars name are few and specific — anal intercourse, intercourse during menstruation or post-natal bleeding, and swallowing or touching impurity without need. Masturbation by hand is also forbidden, and it is worse from a married person.
The principle the scholars work from
IslamWeb states the governing rule plainly: the basis is that each spouse may take pleasure from the other's body, except what the Lawgiver has forbidden. The Qur'an grounds this in the mutual garment of marriage:
"They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them."— Qur'an 2:187
Because the permission is the default, the burden falls on prohibition, not on permission. Anything a couple does together, with mutual consent, is permitted unless a text or a recognised principle excludes it. This is why the scholars answer so many detailed questions about specific acts with the same formula: permissible, unless it involves one of the named prohibitions.
What is actually forbidden
Anal intercourse
IslamWeb lists "coming to a woman in her anus" as the first of the things the Shari'ah has prohibited. This is the position the Hanbali school holds, and it is the majority position across the schools.
Intercourse during menstruation or post-natal bleeding
Intercourse in the vagina while a woman is menstruating is forbidden by consensus — IslamWeb states this explicitly. The same applies during post-natal bleeding (nifas). What is permitted during menstruation is enjoyment of the body above the navel and below the knee; the area between them is where the scholars differ, and IslamWeb notes the disagreement without settling it, mentioning views ranging from prohibition even with a barrier, to prohibition only without one, to permission even without one.
Swallowing or touching impurity without need
IslamWeb states that it is not permitted to swallow impurity (najis) or to touch it without need. This is what decides several detailed questions: a practice is permitted unless it results in swallowing impurity, in which case it is not.
Masturbation by hand
IslamWeb rules that masturbation with the hand or fingers is forbidden and an ugly act, and that it is uglier still from a married person. The Qur'an restricts sexual enjoyment to the spouse:
"And those who guard their private parts, except from their wives or those their right hands possess — for indeed, they will not be blamed. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors."— Qur'an 23:5–7
The scholars reason from this that any sexual release sought outside the spouse is excluded from the permission. Note the distinction IslamWeb draws: if a husband and wife are intimate and one of them stimulates the other's body, that is enjoyment of the spouse and is permitted; what is forbidden is a person stimulating their own body by hand.
Where the line is drawn in practice
- Mutual enjoyment of the body is the default: IslamWeb repeatedly rules that each spouse may enjoy the other's body as they wish, except what the Shari'ah forbids.
- Consent and dignity matter: one ruling describes certain practices as permissible in themselves but "contrary to refined manners" (al-adab al-rafi'ah) — permitted, yet not befitting. The scholars do not equate "not forbidden" with "recommended."
- Impurity is the deciding condition: a practice is permitted if it does not involve swallowing or touching impurity without need.
- Menstruation narrows the permitted area: intercourse in the vagina is forbidden by consensus; the rest of the body remains available.
- A wife may refuse what is forbidden: in one ruling, a wife is advised to explain the matter to her husband, let him enjoy what Allah has made lawful, and prevent him from what is unlawful.
If a couple disagrees
The scholars' advice in these cases is to explain the ruling to one another, to permit what is permitted generously, and to withhold only what is actually forbidden. A wife is not obliged to comply with a request that falls under one of the prohibitions above, and she is encouraged to make clear why, rather than simply refusing.
Key takeaways
- The default is permission: everything between spouses is lawful unless a specific prohibition applies.
- Anal intercourse is forbidden, and intercourse during menstruation or post-natal bleeding is forbidden.
- Swallowing or touching impurity without need is forbidden, and this is the condition that decides many detailed questions.
- Masturbation by hand is forbidden, and more so for a married person — but a spouse stimulating the other's body is permitted.
- Permitted is not the same as befitting: some acts the scholars allow while noting they contradict refined manners.
And Allah knows best.
This is a guide to what the scholars have said, not a fatwa. For your own situation, ask a qualified scholar who can hear the details.